Monday, September 11, 2006


A How-to for submissive males


DISCLAIMER: The following "rules" are not found in any secret old guard manual. They will not necessarily enable you to be collared by the Dominatrix-of-Your-Dreams, are really more geared to "being pleasing to a goddess who has already suggested you might be worth some of her valuable time and attention." Very specific ideas or "instructions" may not apply to every situation, and most especially may not apply to how a given women wants you to do something. The point of this article is to put the general mechanisms and manners, that (I hope) any man worthy of a woman's time would otherwise be doing, into the context of our lifestyle.


You should always be striving consciously to be worthy of her time and attention. Even when she's not there, you should conduct yourself as if she was watching.

You are always courting her when in her presence, however long you've known each other. Present yourself with as much care and attention as you would on a date with an ordinary woman.

Hygiene counts!: shower, comb your hair, brush your teeth, clean the sticky spilled soda off your automobile's seats.

Clothing should be clean and neat and appropriate to the occasion. Obvious exceptions would be fetish clothing otherwise inappropriate but worn because she desires it, or old, ripped clothing for heavy labor or messy tasks.

Employ general good manners in situations where you cannot display outright submission, such as in public among people who don't know the extent of your relationship. Treat Mistress and her peers as you would a judge in a courtroom, or your elementary school teacher; such that ordinary women, who don't have any idea who you two are will nudge their male companions and say, "why don't you treat me that way!"

Maintain a positive image of yourself. Take pride in what you do. You are lucky, honorable, and worthy of respect. Outside of a role- playing scenario, no Lady actually wants "worthless worms" or "dirt beneath her feet."

Display a pleased and pleasant demeanor. Move and speak in a calm, dignified manner. Don't behave cranky, petulant or fidgety.


Address her as "Mistress" in the same way a queen of a nation would be addressed as "Your Majesty" and as "Ma'am" instead of "Mistress" in the same circumstances as you'd call a queen "Ma'am" instead of "Your Majesty."

NOTE: When speaking to any other Lady, some allow the same address, some allow "Mistress" only if it is part of their name, some don't allow you to address them with that word at all if you're not their personal slave. Obviously, use the form of address to that Lady she
NOTE: While "Ma'am" is the default address to most every other Lady, as well as your Mistress, there are many women who don't like it. Use the address an individual Lady desires (E.g. "m'Lady").

A verbal resonse to a direct question or order, or a greeting, or a question to her, should include her title. Even if it's just "yes" or "no"; "Yes Mistress" or "No Mistress." If speaking to, responding to, greeting, another Lady, then it's "Yes Ma'am"/No Ma'am" (or whatever alternate honorific she wants to be addressed by, E.g. "Yes my Lady, Yes Lady X, Yes Your Highness, etc.)

Unless you are instructed not to speak unless spoken to, you need not refrain from questions or statements in the ordinary course of conversation. In ordinary social or business interactions, she expects you to be your normal interesting, charming, witty self.

Do not interrupt her when she is speaking to another, except in outright emergencies. "Catch her eye" silently.

When speaking about her to someone else who knows who you two are, refer to her by her title and name. If you know they know who you're referring to, then you can just refer to her as "Mistress"

Don't raise your voice, unless in the course of a sport or game, or hailing a taxi, or your safeword.
Don't whine. Ever!

Do not publicly disagree with her. The exception would be a group social setting where it is appropropriate to express individual opinions, philosophy, or knowledge.

Disagreement with her, public or private, must be done in respectful tone, without whining or temper.

Ask permission to leave her presence.

Ask permission to do something she hasn't yet told you to do. For example: moving to greet another Lady who hasn't yet approached, changing an article of clothing, volunteering to rub her feet or fetch refreshments.

Submissive persons don't have titles with each other, unless that's part of the requirements of the owner of one or another of them. Some slaves call each other "brother"/"sister"/"bro"/"sis"; this is mostly an on-line address but is not otherwise forbidden in real life. You can call another submissive person by a pet name if that's how they're introduced to you.

You can refer to a slave as "Mistress (Her name's) (slave's name)"


Walk to the side of, or just behind a Lady when she's moving, to the side or just behind when she is standing still. Naturally, if a task requires you to move ahead or away from her then you carry out the task.

Open doors for her

Carry all physical items/articles/objects, save her handbag or something like that she wants to hold herself. If there are more items than you have hands, it is acceptable to politely request her to hold/carry the lightest, or ask to make multiple trips.

When a Lady approaches in public, stand up if you were sitting, bow your head very slightly while greeting. Hand-kissing is elegant, but I'm told that most American males can't do it properly so refrain unless she extends her hand in fashion such that it is obvious you will be permitted to kiss it.

You may not touch a Lady unless invited to do so. You may touch/hug other submissive persons if appropriate to the situation.

When she is seated, if kneeling or sitting at her feet is allowed, do so without obstructing her. Stand beside or behind her chair/seat unless and until she bids you to sit. Stand when she does, or if another Lady approaches unless you are actively doing something for Mistress which activity involves remaining seated. For example, if administering a foot massage to a Lady, and another approaches, you'd acknowledge the presence/approach verbally - "Good afternoon, Ma'am" - but wouldn't stop the massage to stand up.

Move swiftly, directly and proudly to carry out her orders.

Do not carry out anyone else's orders unless and until Mistress has indicated by word or gesture she wants you to do so, or if there were previous instructions that you could serve or obey someone(s) else.


FIRST RULE: Men protect Women, that's called civilization
SECOND RULE: We're all serving one way or another
THIRD RULE: Don't guess, talk to each other!
FIFTH RULE: Patience is a virtue
SIXTH RULE: Honesty is the best policy
SEVENTH RULE: If no real responsibility, no real relationship
EIGHT RULE: Slavery in the lifestyle is a conscious choice
NINTH RULE: Despite our child-like glee, we're all adults here


Post a Comment

<< Home