AfterCare

-author unknown (please advise us if you do).

A: Attentiveness – This includes intimacy: cuddling, caressing,
hugging, kissing, massaging, and whispers. Free the bottom from
bondage. Have a change of clothing packed. Control body temperature.
Get warmth by: blankets, clothing, socks, slippers. Cool down by:
drinking water, slowing your pace, move to cooler location. Relax
your muscles &mind. If bottom is flying, cover eyes from bright
lights. Negotiate beforehand what you will need.

F: Fortify – Your body's needs: hydrate by drinking water or juice,
eating food, sugar, medications, and nicotine. Clean up: use the
rest room, wash your hands &face, administer first aid to wounds
and collect your thoughts. Rest: a large amount of energy was
exerted &endorphins raging through the body. Prepare beforehand how
to give aftercare &clean up the scene. 3rd party aftercare? Know
any medical conditions for both Top and bottom.

T: Transition – A huge Power Exchange took place. Develop a way to
Empower yourself. Reclaim the power dynamics within your
relationship. Refocus your temperament. Find the balance in your
roles. Acquire your natural disposition of mind, body &spirit.
Allow different gear speeds to drive you so that you can operate
smoothly. Feeling safe and secure requires reestablishing your
former protective walls and defenses.

E: Express – Giving &showing gratitude to your partner(s) is
paramount in emphasizing the scene had meaning. Recognize your
appreciation for the hard work just displayed. A heart felt "Thank
You" goes a long way. Acknowledge the importance of your connection,
which you just shared. Affirm your care and concern, be supportive
and listen. Consider what you can do for/to one another
to `ritualize' the ending of the scene.

R: Recovery – It takes time to: sober up, decompress, collect one's
thoughts, and recuperate in order to be independent again. Cognitive
thinking, emotional stability, and full motor functionality are all
regained with time. The feeling of abandonment is common if this
necessary recovery period is insufficient. When problems occur and
things go wrong; react quickly, decisively, and assertively. Prepare
your options for scene breakers/stoppers.

C: Communicate – Be supportive and listen to each other. Did you
exchange contact information? Call, talk, email, visit, &journal:
within hours, days, weeks, and months. Determining how much follow
up is needed depends upon the depth of your scene &the areas of the
mind that was delved into. Exchange recognition of your needs for
both partners. Tops are "psycho", not "psychic" – share your
feelings and give them feedback.

A: Analyze – Understand your feelings: hurts, pains, euphoria,
disappointments, regrets, and pleasures. Assess your immediate &
long term needs. Did you have an emotional release? What did your
tears or laughter mean? Are you experiencing delayed "crashing" –
Top/sub drop? Tops &bottoms can experience regrets and remorse for
what just happened. Do you need reassurance &validation for your
actions? Endorphin levels take time to stabilize.

R: Reflect – A critical reflection upon the scene is a natural
process and should be explored by both players. Were the
expectations, goals, and/or limits reached? Were they realistic? Was
the scene effective? What elements could be changed? What "mental"
barriers or wounds were opened and now need attention to heal? Was
the equipment used adequate? If there was an audience, were they
affected? What precautions should you take next time?

E: Explore – Future possibilities to play again with this person.
Find ideas to be researched. Determine which skills to improve.
Redefine your don't list and questions to ask. Locate areas of
uncomfortability to avoid. What is on your wish list? Don't have the
mindset of "got to play-itis". What changes do you need to make with
your negotiations? Where are you now? What have you learned? Realize
there is no `one' standard for aftercare. Make it what you need and
what works for you and your partner(s).